True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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