If i come over, it means nothing
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize