AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
