Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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