I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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