I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
