gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
