I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
