Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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