hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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