There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
