i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
