but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
