I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
