Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize