can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
