I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
