Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
