Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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