Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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