stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
