Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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