We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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