You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
