I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize