9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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