Cold hands, warm shart.
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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