I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
