A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
