hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
