I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
