You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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