Umm I'm too high to move.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
