How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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