it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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