So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
