quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
