Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
