I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
