You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
