Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
