do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My Higher Power is John Stamos
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
