Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
