We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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