Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
