My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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