epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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