So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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