u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
