so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
