the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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