I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
