In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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