It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sorry about my life...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
