when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize