he wants to bone in the snuggie
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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