My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
