I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize