I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
