It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
