Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize