Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
