he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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