yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
there is glitter all over my balls
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
